Saturday, January 21, 2012

Much ado about happiness

I was once given a farewell card by a friend. It said "Happiness is not a destination to reach, but a road to travel". On prima facie the proverb sounds correct, but, I have often wondered if it is true. If one is always happy (as in "a road to travel") will one value happiness anymore? Once it becomes part of the diurnal cycle will it not be akin to every other brand of emotion, banal and hackneyed? Also, what is so wrong about happiness being a destination? One can then look forward to it, and once there, savour it.

I have often believed that happiness is a state of mind. It is that state of ones' mind in which one wishes to stay a little while longer than usual. Years ago, I read in my physics lessons that an atom (or was it a particle) always desires to be in its lowest energy state. It stays "happy" in that state, and if altered, will eternally persevere to reach that state. It is like a constant "destination" that the atom tries to reach. Think about it. We are all like that atom persevering to be "happy". Only, man's definition of happiness keeps changing with time unlike that of an atom. Now, would you consider a path with constantly changing destinations a "road"? I do not know. Therein lies the intrigue of the word,"happy".

When I ponder about what I understand by "happy", they are the moments in life which I would like to volunteer to revisit, not forced to. The refreshing mango juice at the Vijayawada train station (enroute from Kolkata to Madras); The odd ride on a van-rickshaw from Digha to Talshari via the idyllic countryside; The first experience of the Colosseum-like atmosphere of Eden Gardens; The impromptu Goa trip in that tempo-traveler; The dip in the stream behind the college where buffaloes bathed are some of those random memories that I can instantly garner and label as "happy". As anomalous as they may seem to the idea of happiness, they are the ones that have etched fond memories in my subconscious. And fond memories have an odd way of lingering like the smell of mutton curry in your fingers long after you have come home from that Bengali wedding.They make me happy.

This definition of happiness has a certain predicament though. It can only be felt once the moment has passed! While I can be happy at this moment thinking about something pleasant that happened to me in the past, I have no way of being happy by virtue of something that is happening in the present. In essence i may be falling behind in the race for the pursuit of happiness. I sometimes think that perhaps my inability to exude an impulsive reaction hinders me from being instantly "happy" even when there is something conspicuously delightful. It is this lack of spontaniety that constrains me from proclaiming a "WOW" on seeing a decent photograph by an amateur photographer. It is again the reason for a stifled reaction on seeing a decent work of painting, eating a decently palatable dish, wearing a decent dress, or meeting a decent human.

I am almost never instantly "WOW"ed by any of the above. However, that does not mean that I never feel a superlative reaction. However, it is usually much later when something (or someone) WOW-worthy has been revisited by the mind several times and has passed the test of quality. You may say that I like to chew the cud. I am bovine in a sense that I like gazing all day at the meadows but cannot bring myself to exclaim "WOW" at the taste of grass.

Speaking about "WOW", how often does one really feel wowed, I wonder. If "WOWS" were meant for all things "decent" what reaction should one reserve for things that are truly astounding. Say, the Pieta, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, the Parthenon, the Taj, the creme de la creme of mankind's achievement? The few wows in my life have been, the Jog (when I stood at its abyssmal depth), the Kanchenjunga (as i spotted it momentarily through a shroud of cloud), the Starry Night (comprising the brush strokes of a troubled genius), and the Konark temple (or what remains of it). Each of them has inevitably evoked a sense of how small I am in mind soul and skill. And that has made me exclaim, Wow !

I believe that as with all things "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"; So with happiness there is no rigid definition, but just a concept that one is free to mould by one's own rules. Since, the above paragraphs of incoherent rambling has brought me back to the starting line, I will conclude that happiness may not after all be a destination to reach. Whether it is a road to travel, I leave to the wise minds of the readers to construe. As for me, niether makes a difference as I have comprehensively proved that I do not understand either.

4 comments:

Suvro Chatterjee said...

First off, Warlock, thanks for this post. I too believe that happiness comes from many little things, not necessarily a few great big ones. One thing, though: for me, the definition of what makes for happiness has remained strangely constant since I was a teenager through the last three decades, and much of it is encapsulated in that priceless song from the movie 'The sound of music' titled 'These are a few of my favourite things...'

As for happiness being a destination, I don't know, but I am thinking of the proverb 'To travel hopefully is better than to arrive', and Tagore's line poth-i more tirtho hok. I could also quote back Shakespeare at you: 'All things are chas'd with more spirit than enjoyed'.

And in parting, I don't go 'Wow!' very easily!

Chaitra said...

I remember thinking the exact same things as you while going through the physics lesson :) I remember telling myself that lowest energy must be equivalent to peace and that's what every atom in the universe is trying to achieve....

I differ on the point of being instantaneously happy though.... whether I am feeling extreme happiness or acute pain, I am aware of it in the very moment its happening!! I like it that way because it makes the experience all the more intense....

One more suggestion to the list of places that WOWed you.... You might like a day or two at Devbagh near Karvar.... Its an island and has a couple of resorts and nothing else... But the time spent there on the beach is one of the few moments I reach into my memory database when I am really low.... I have suggested the place to many of my friends and they all agree with me :)

Vishucool said...

Well, a quick read through this and the most immediate comment that came to my mind is "Happiness, ideally, should be felt at that moment and I guess most ppl do that. Yes, it happens that with course of time, you start exploring what other benefits you would get from this moment (which made you happy sometime back) and how it makes your life better than present and then I guess you start feeling more happy.
You dont feel happy while its happening :O Seriously ??? May be, you are thinking too much about some happier incidents from the past, or how the current moment could have been better ?
Bhai, Enjoy while its happening and while you can :P

Anonymous said...

Happiness or Feeling Joyous is a
particular state of mind and the cause of arriving at this stage depends on the particular individual
(or group of individuals).
'WOW'-the interjection for the expression of astonishment,joy and admiration,after its first appearance
in 16th century,made a dignified journey over the last couple of centuries as it was being used judiciously and appropriately.But during last few decades,with the arrival of a 'Noveau Riche' clan(commonly known as techies)it is suffering a brutal assault on its dignity.The situation has come to such a phase that,sometimes,even in the quietude of a morning walk or during evening stroll suddenly the eyes are being dragged,as a spontaneous reflex in response to the sound of a chorus 'WOW'by a group of boys and girls,to a grotesque sight.
Now what is the standard of 'Happiness' for these modern 'wow-wallas'is beyond my perception and i would like to remain ignorant for remaining years of my life.